How to communicate with a teenager?
Communication with a teenager delivers to the majorityparents are some troubles, and they begin, in most cases, when the child turns 13-14 years old. This is the age when parents should do their best to learn how to communicate with their grown-up children, who are not as flexible as they were a few years ago. Each teenager requires a special approach to himself, therefore, how to communicate with a teenager, specialists are given only general recommendations. But this does not mean that you will be able to contact with the first attempt to communicate with the teenager correctly.
Rules of communication with a teenager
- A teenager is a person, and every parentI must remember this, before I communicate with a teenager. Even if it is not fully formed, but a person, it requires attention and care to be no less than the one you surrounded your child when he is 2 or 3 years old. Only attentive parents are able to notice that their child has had some kind of trouble, that he is something upset or worried. At the first sign of such a condition, try to establish contact with a teenager, try to understand his personal life, but without stepping over the line, which is very thin, and your too frank questions can cause mental pain to the teenager.
- Difficulties in communicating with adolescents are due,first of all, their puberty. At this age, adolescents believe that they have become adults, they can do whatever they want, and parents' attempts to communicate with adolescents are perceived by them "with hostility." Psychologists recommend, especially to mothers, to begin more adult communication with children, not when the moment when a teenager becomes uncontrollable, but much earlier, will come. This will help you to be closer with your child and when the first love comes to his life, and when the characteristics of teenagers' communication on the street will negatively affect yours, a few months ago, quite manageable to the child.
- In adolescence, it is very important how youaddress your child. If you want a teenager to take lessons, then he should be reminded of his duties, but in a form that does not offend him. From the manner of your speech at the moment very much depends, so try to talk with the child in a calm and confident tone, but do not shout, and do not blame him. The fact is that if the child is offended by you, he will simply find himself communicating in the street, which can not be tolerated, otherwise you will "lose" the child forever.
Children in adolescence are becomingpicky to adults. But do not think that they can communicate with each other quite well - the problems of communication of adolescents, if not solved, can lead to real tragedies that break down the child's whole life.
Tips for parents
Many problems in adolescence arise fromtraining. Children do not want to sit down for lessons that they seem terribly uninteresting, unlike talking on the street, watching TV or listening to music. To ensure that the student does not lag behind the school curriculum, so that his failure in high school does not become a problem, on which he can not enter the university, which he longed for, try to clarify this problem. Perhaps, for some of the subjects, a conflict arose between your child and the teacher. It is not excluded that your child behaved incorrectly at the lesson, he was rude to the teacher, because such communication between adolescents and adults is a daily occurrence. Therefore, you should go to school and talk with the teacher, and also talk with the child, because you have to find out the two sides of the conflict.
Teenagers very emotionally perceive everythingwhat is happening. Moreover, their opinion changes very often, like the mood. A teenager at this age can, how to assert one's rights, and quarrel with a friend with whom he has been friends for many years.
To help your child experience the mostunsuccessful moments in his life, learn to listen to him, but listen actively, leaving all the affairs, sitting next to him on the couch. Only such communication with adults will be useful for a teenager who does not yet fully understand what is good to do and what is bad. Communication between a teenager and his parents should be regular, so try to have a tradition of evening tea, common breakfasts and dinners in your family when the whole family gathers at the table and everyone shares their problems.
Do not let the street culture of communicationteenagers migrated to your home - you should try to keep in your home a cultural form of communication. After all, in spite of the fact that the teenager already only selectively imitates parents, he is still guided by the principles of everyday life, based in the house.